Growing up you hear, "live in the moment. love others. enjoy life. have fun. cherish the moments you have with the ones you love". And it's true but, I don't think that as kids (or teenagers or sadly, even adults) we grasp that concept. Kids are so carefree. They love endlessly. They enjoy the moments and figure out how to make the most of them without having to think about it. Even when we are in high school living without a care in the world comes fairly easy...mom and dad still pay for everything (or most everything unless they are trying to teach you responsibility and occasionally make you pay for gas or car insurance or your movie ticket...but you get the point...you're cared for under mom and dad) and there really aren't too many responsibilities (i.e. you don't have to make sure the whole house is clean just that your list of chores is done, you don't have to make every meal or grocery shop, or make appointments, or get the oil changed in the car, or do the laundry (okay at least not all of it), find apartments, find jobs, work (which means learning to budget)...do you get what I'm trying to say?). But, what happens when all of the sudden you grow up. Mom and Dad are still there but independence is coming your way -- quick. At least for me, responsibility is coming too. (Yeesh. I'm beginning to hate that word.) And, you know what else came -- BUSY LIFE. There I said it and I'm about fed up with it. And you know what else I'm fed up with...probably not so I'll tell you...I'm fed up with (and this includes myself) people saying, "I'm tired. I'm overwhelmed. or, I just don't have time for anything anymore" when you ask them how they are. It's getting ridiculous...in my life as well. I don't know if you have a personality like me, but if you do I'm extremely sorry because I understand how difficult it is to slow your life down and to simply not do anything for even just five minutes.
Let me just set up a scenario for you: Last semester I had class work, research work, a job, church, bible study, and a boyfriend:), oh, and at some point I had to take care of my body. Busy doesn't even begin to describe what I felt. The time I got to spend with my boyfriend guess what I was doing? Dishes. Laundry. Homework. Research. Cleaning. Cooking. My life was out of control and it was hurting my whole life. I "didn't have time" to just stop and enjoy being with him. I "didn't have time" to stop and be with my Savior. I "didn't have time" to be consistent with my small group. I "didn't have time" to sit in front of the t.v. and play video games. It led to frustration and bitterness and one day I just broke...now let me tell you how it ended...
I went to work the Monday after I broke and I looked at one of the older women who lost her husband 15 years ago and whom I am gaining a lot of respect for, and told her what happen and she just looked at me with one of the most gentle smiles and said, "You mean to tell me that you can't just stop and enjoy this boy that you love so much? Oh, Honey, I see so much of me in you. I always had to be busy doing something but, let me just tell you. I'd give anything to be sitting on our couch doing absolutely nothing with my husband again...even if I was just curled up next to him reading a book. Life doesn't slow down so you've got to." When you hear statements like those from people who have experienced a loss it hits you a little differently...or maybe just hearing it again when your 21 instead of 15 it hits you differently. I took her advice...oh man...life got so much better. You just begin to realize it's okay to put dishes in the dishwasher and leave them there until it's full. That it's okay to leave a pile of clean clothes on the floor for a day or two (sorry mom!). That it's okay to stay on vacation til the last possible minute. That's it's okay if you don't workout every day just to spend time with the people you love. That it's okay if you take off a day of work to go do something special. That it's okay if you...well you fill in the blank. Obviously there is a line between being lazy and just slowing your life down (of course there are still responsibilities you must take care of...but if the kitchen floor doesn't get swept for a week or two or if you have to leave the mold in the fridge for a day or two longer...who cares...) but, once you find it...oh what a difference it will make. I know. I'm only 21 and I have a lot to learn but you know what, I'm glad I learned this lesson now instead of when I'm married and have a family because I would have missed out on a lot. If you're always feeling burnt out and tired...stop. look at your life. and fire extinguish...don't try to put out the entire forest in one day. You'll miss out on your kids growing up. Dating your best friend. Or even, maybe, what the Lord has for your life. Just enjoy life. Learn along the way. And remember, when life gives you lemons, make a crazy fish face ;)
On His adventure,
Laurlee <3
