The Place You Never Should Have Left

I prayed for humility this morning and I realized God had already begun to answer before I prayed for it.  All of my flaws were surfacing this week from others around me. It's not a bad thing. Just a pride swallowing, humbling thing -- that hurts for a minute and then you are down on your knees "in the place you never should have left".  How many times have you heard that one before? But really, I never should have left. On my own I am nothing. I was flipping through my notebook in class today and I found a journal entry I had written at the beginning of freshman year.  It made me smile because it put me back in the place I never should have left. It went like this:

Every teenage girl has hopes and dreams.
None expect to be stripped of all things the year that is suppose to be one of the greatest of her life.
Looking back she realizes it was everything it was suppose to be -- great.
She realized that the struggles taught her what it truly means to delight in the Lord.
She learned how to solely rely on her Lord and King.
She learned what it means to know God's best is yet to come. 
She leaned what it means to have patience so God could achieve "perfection" in her life.
And all this happened only so she could joyfully move forward and experience the blessings of God. 
But she realized that blessings -- while they are so wonderful -- they can be detrimental to her faith.
Although she realizes the blessing are from God and she thanks God every day for them God was no longer her sole desire. 
She lost sight of the one who blessed her, who held her, who knows the best plans for her.
It was all because of her selfish, earthly desires.
A backward step -- it is what it takes to refocus her heart. 
She can see the past more clearly.
It allows for a fresh start. 
It allows for the learning of God's patience again in order for Him to achieve His "perfection" in her life.
Her heart becoming solely His once again.
And once again Him being her only hopes and dreams. 



I'm not a teenager anymore, but I still have hopes and dreams and selfishness still hinders me. I get up off my knees to much. I still lose sight of the One who knows what's best for me all because I want things now instead of remembering God's best is still yet to come. It may not hit you as hard as it did me -- I don't expect it to -- but when you're done just think about it. What is keeping you from the place you never should have left?
On His adventure <3
Laurlee