If you've met me for five minutes you will be able to tell that I am a planner -- at least for the long term, "big stuff" that everyone wants to encourage you to see it through because they don't want to crush your dreams even though a little reality is probably a good thing. But, the every day stuff...well I kind of live that by the seat of my pants. (Weird? Yes, but I'm beginning to realize that it's the little things that make a person a person and that characteristic is just part of who I am.) If you would have asked me last week what my future plans were I could have rattled off about 3 different graduate school options and that I want to work within the community educating them somehow or maybe even obtain my Ph.D so I can teach on the university level, or write a cookbook, or somehow work with women who are fighting eating disorders, or maybe even working with children in a pediatric setting fighting the obesity epidemic that is plaguing our nation, or...you get the point. I had about a eighty-five different ideas of what my life could be, where it could go, and what it could do. But then I was spending time with Jesus last Monday morning and it was then that His still small voice said, "It's okay. It's okay that you don't know what your next step is. I do. Relax and enjoy these moments. Do the things you want to do because you enjoy them not because you have to." In that moment an overwhelming peace flooded my heart because it's true. It is okay that I don't know the next step after I graduate. What is important is that I live my life now -- daily -- for the glory of God. This doesn't mean become lazy because God is going to do the work for you because He won't. It simply means that you work towards the goal -- whatever your goal is for your life -- but, if the Lord takes you a different direction join Him and shout Hallelujah! The relief that brings to my life -- Oh. My. Stars. I feel like I can breath again. The pressure to have this resume and portfolio with this list a million miles long with accomplishments is gone. There is no longer a feeling in my heart like I have to "give up" living life to get to the next step. Because what if God chooses to completely change my heart and put me in the schools teaching? Or what if He chooses to bring a guy in to my life who has an amazing idea planned for an awesome adventure serving the Lord and graduate school just doesn't fit with that? Or what if He has me obtain my master's in nutrition and my R.D. license? Or what if He chooses to let me be a mom to a million kids (maybe run an orphanage)? Or what if He has me become a Pop-Star (okay, maybe not...but...)? My point is, I can plan all I want to. I can think about it, stress out about it, talk about it all I want to but it's not going to solve anything. It's still just going to be a pile of possibilities. So why not just relax and enjoy the moment. Enjoy the breath of the day the Lord has given you and work towards something you might enjoy doing for the rest of your life until the Lord shows you something else? To be okay with not knowing...it's something I never thought I would experience, but I am and it's AWESOME (because it's from the Lord).I can't wait to see where He makes my next footprint but, until then I choose to trust Him and smile about the days ahead because let's face it as long as your smiling you at least look good ;)
On His adventure,
Laurlee<3
Oh, Lauren, if you only knew how true this is!! Ten years ago I had a plan. I knew all the details of it in and out and was working my little fingers to the bone to attain it. BUT, then everything "fell apart", at least that's what I thought back then when I found out that in September of 2000 I would be the mother of a new baby boy and NOT an Interior Design student at ASU. What I didn't realize until many years later, like oh say 8 years later, is that my life never 'fell apart', it actually fell together and in a big, big way!! To make a long story short, I have been through my fair share of challenges, but looking back I can see that God led me into and through ALL of them. I completely agree with you, too, that we shouldn't be lazy, we should give our all to what God has put in our spirit to do. But if tomorrow God "changes our mind", we should focus on His plan, and live by His faith, knowing that He will always bring us through. After all, His plan never changes, He has known our path since the very beginning!!
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